Two Wedding In Two States

by Lindsay
(Pittsburgh, PA)

Well, we have set the date and our wedding is only 5 months away problem is, my family is from PA and my fiancé’s is from TX. We both come from really close and big families and there is no way we can fly all of his family to PA and vice versa.

I am having a really hard time trying to figure out how to involve everyone because I do not want anyone to feel left out on this very special day for the both of us. Another problem is that my aunt owns her own wedding reception place and I don’t want her to feel bad if we decide to not have a reception in PA.

What do you think would be best to involve everyone? Having a ceremony and after party or reception in PA then flying down to TX to have the reception or post reception?

What I have also been researching is that there are civil and "blessing" ceremonies and then having a reception afterwards. So maybe having the ceremony and reception in PA and then flying down to TX and pretty much doing it all over again there. I am so lost, I really need some advice.

Our Thoughts

Dear Lindsay,

This is a common challenge that many couples are faced with in this day and age. You have a couple options, but in the end you may have to make a decision that may not be easy.

The easiest way to handle this (and what we have seen many times) is that one location is selected for the main ceremony and wedding reception. In your case that would either be in PA or TX.

Then, you can have a second or post wedding reception in the other location for those family and friends that aren’t able to make the trip to attend your wedding.

Now, how you get to this point is a very personal decision. There are many factors that can be considered, especially if you don’t have a strong preference or compelling reason to have your wedding in either location.

Start by creating your initial guest list, and don’t take into consideration where your guests live. This will hopefully give you an idea of where most of your wedding guests live and might give you some hints to help your decision process.

Consider where your bridal party lives as well as your important family and friends and their ability to travel. Try to concentrate the most on the very important people that you absolutely want at your celebration.

Then consider the financial side of your wedding. If you are paying for your wedding, which location is a better fit for your wedding budget? If having your wedding in PA makes the most sense for you financially, then that is something to seriously factor into your decision.

Write down all the pros and cons of having your wedding in either location, taking into account the topics above as well as any other aspects of your wedding that are important to you.

Lastly, try to remember that whatever you choose there may be some family and friends that don’t see eye to eye with you on your decision. Try to make the best decision you can while taking your wedding guests into consideration.

Always remember that this is your big day, and in the end you need to make the best decision for you as a couple. All the other details will fall into place.


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