Wedding Invitation Response

The RSVP card from a wedding invitation that we recently received simply says:

“Your favor of response would be greatly appreciated by September 30, 2010.”

There is no space for indicating attending _____ or not attending _____.

Does that mean that if you’re not attending the wedding you simply don't respond, and if you are attending simply mail the card back (there is no place to say "Mr. & Mrs. Jones will be attending”)?

Our Thoughts

It sounds like in all the hustle and bustle of getting ready for their BIG day the bride and groom indeed forgot to include a few key lines in their wedding invitations.

With that said I would suggest returning their response card regardless and write in your response of either Attending or Not Attending, along with your names.

Though they have made a gross oversight in wedding invitation etiquette and made it harder on themselves for head count, it does not hurt to help them out a bit so they in fact know who truly is and is not coming to their wedding event.

Regards,
Danielle

Wedding Invitation Response

by Nancy
(Lynchburg, VA)

I recently received an invitation to my nephew's wedding. RSVP was a website or phone number (one or the other of the bride's divorced parents? Didn't say).

All the Miss Manners in me says to respond in writing on my best personal paper. But the return address is said nephew and live-in fiancé, not parent.

More problems. I will be attending, but my husband will not. Wording?

Another problem. The invitation was sent to "Bob and Nancy" instead of "The Rev'd and Mrs." Even though we are uncle and aunt, should it not have been addressed formally?

Should the response be formal?

Our Thoughts

Unfortunately it sounds like this couple did not consult a planner or even a book for proper wedding etiquette when it came to their invitations. With that said, you are correct with how wedding invitations should be addressed and responded to.

However, they have chosen to go completely down a non-traditional path or shall we say run directly off the path without a compass!

It is recommended to respond to their wedding as asked, via email, website or on the phone, and simply state that Aunt Nancy will gladly be in attendance but unfortunately Uncle Bob will not be able to escort you due to x-y-z.

Lastly, I would warn you to have a drink or take a deep breath (anything to relax) since the rest of the event may be against tradition since the invitation for a wedding event is typically the calling card for what is to come.

To Your Wedding!
Danielle & Stephen

Wedding Invitation Replies

My daughter is getting married in May. On the reply card it said the last date to reply by, and now she is receiving emails, phone calls and people dropping off their reply cards.

But, the deadline is over. How long after the due date do you allow replies? Should you allow these people to attend? Please get back to me, thank you.



Our Thoughts

I am not sure when in May your daughter is getting married, but if you are a month out from the date as of today, it is customary to allow one week to two weeks for the response cards to filter in for the event.

It is also completely acceptable if your R.S.V.P. deadline has expired to pick up a phone and call anyone on your guest list who has not responded to your invitation. If waiting the extra couple of weeks in not an option because your reception space needs a final head count, then stick to your deadline given on the response card.

When guests call past this date, let them know that regrettably the event is now closed and they will be greatly missed at such a joyous occasion.

I do believe that people genuinely forget with life going on around them, so it is up to you and the bridal couple to choose what is most important when it comes to the guest count.

Finally, contact your reception space and/or caterer to verify what your drop dead date is for guest count adjustments for your final bill.

Regards,
Danielle

Wedding Response Cards

by Kathy
(Canada)

Who traditionally receives the RSVP response cards for a wedding, the bride’s parents or grooms parents?



Our Thoughts

Dear Kathy,

Traditionally whoever is hosting the wedding event should receive the R.S.V.P. cards.

Non-traditionally the bridal couple sometimes would prefer to have the cards come directly to them, especially if they are paying for their own wedding.

Regards,
Danielle