Including Siblings In Wedding Party

How do you decide who is in your wedding party? My future daughter in law doesn’t really get along w my daughter.

She feels only people she likes and have a relationship with should be included. My son says he wants his sister involved, but I don’t seem how else that could be.

I am hurt and unless they change this for my daughter I will not attend the wedding. How can I get it across how important this is? I explained it is protocol.

If they don’t begin to mend things now the future is bleak for my children. I will never forgive him. He is close with his sister, although closer before this relationship.

Our Thoughts

Sadly, we have had similar questions like yours before on this site and it never ceases to distress me.

Let me start by saying that I completely empathize with your point of view in wanting your daughter included in your son's wedding event. It is always such a tragedy to see siblings at odds with one another when it comes to such an important day in your children’s lives. They seem to not stop and think how it will effect their lives long term as they get caught up in the moment.

With this said, ultimately the wedding party is primarily the choice of the bride and the groom. The party is made up of people whom they feel the closest with and want to share in their special day with; a royal court or entourage of the bride and groom.

Tradition stands that it is usually an unwritten rule that siblings are included in this party, but again, it is the bride and groom that make this final decision.

As a mother myself, I can see how this choice pains you deeply, but I would caution not to get involved for it can only hurt one if not both of your children. From the sounds of it hurt your relationship to your future daughter-in-law as well.

It would be a deeper heartbreak to not attend the wedding of your son. My best advice would be to sit everyone down and come up with another solution. Suggest having your daughter read something at their wedding ceremony or take on some other important role so that she is included and does feel a part of their big day.

I do hope that everything works out and that the joy and love of your son's union truly prevails in the end.


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